Recipes for Living Marlow and Joan Peterson

There is an unusual story behind Marlow's unusual name. He was born at home outside of Staceyville, Iowa to Charles and Clara Peterson. Clara named him Gary Dean. Charles didn't tell her that he didn't like the name, but he went to town to register the birth and came back with a birth certificate that said "Marlow Maurice." When Marlow began talking, he wasn’t able to pronounce his name and began to call himself "Bub." It has stayed with him ever since.

"Bub" is not a very prestigious name. It really doesn’t do him justice, and I decided that when a chance came along for him to meet new people, I would introduce him as Marlow. It is such a nice name. What do you know- the first opportunity I had when we came to Osceola, the name "Bub" slipped out. Now when I refer to him as Marlow, nobody knows who I am talking about.

Charles and Clara Peterson lived in Franklin County, Iowa near the town of Burdette. They had seven children- three boys and four girls- and Bub was exactly in the middle. Charles farmed 700 acres of land and raised hundreds of cattle. The name Charlie Peterson was well known and respected even here in southern Iowa because of his knowledge of cattle. Charlie spent a lot of time in the sale barns buying and selling cattle, especially at Humeston.

Clara worked very hard raising seven children and cooking for hired men. She was a wonderful mother, wonderful cook, and her chocolate frosting had no equal. The mind-set of the family was that everyone worked for the good of the farm.

Most of Bub's schooling was at Popejoy, Iowa, in Franklin County. He graduated in a class of 12, which indicates something of the size of the school. From the time he was little, Bub worked on the farm and it was expected that he would continue to do so after he graduated from high school. He never was asked what he wanted to do after graduation but in his heart of hearts, staying on the farm and working with his father and oldest brother, wasn’t what he wanted to do.

Bub and I didn't meet until I was 24 and he 29 years old. I was teaching in Mason City and had gone out to Clear Lake to spend the evening at a singles club. It was called Billy's Casino, although it wasn't a casino in the present connotation of the word, just a dance club. It was the first time either of us had gone. We ended up sitting beside each other. We didn't dance, we just talked. That was on February 10. We had our first date on February 14, we became engaged on March 6, and were married June 8, 1968. This type of courtship is not something to recommend for the faint of heart! We got to know one another after marriage.

I grew up in southern Iowa, having been born in Knoxville to Joseph and Kathleen Cook. I was due the first week in March, but Mother was sick all during the pregnancy and developed toxemia. On January 18, she was near death and the doctors didn't think it was possible to save both of us. Dad was asked to make a choice between Mother and me. Of course, he chose Mother. The doctors simply reached up with forceps and pulled me out. We survived, but it was a traumatic event for both of us. I wasn't expected to live, but I was a nice size, actually - seven pounds - and I did marvelously well. My parents were told not have more children but they had four more. I was the first.

When I was four years old, we moved to Corning. Dad had a position with Hy-Vee, which was then just a little store. In the following years, he became an insurance agent and continued that occupation until he retired. He is truly a kind soul. Dad was one of 12 children raised in the Quaker faith, as had been the family tradition for hundreds of years. Dad broke with the Quaker church when he tried to enlist during World War II. All of his siblings have also left the Quaker faith.

When Dad was in high school, it was discovered that he has a rare congenital abnormality called dextroposition. His heart and all his internal organs are on the reverse side from their usual position. Any time he goes into a hospital the word goes out and everyone comes to listen to his heart on the wrong side. While he was attending Simpson College, at the end of the football season, all the team went to enlist in military service. They wouldn't take Dad because of this abnormality.

Mother is an extremely talented lady, one of the most gifted musicians I know. At age 76 she still accompanies for high school contests and musicals. They did "West Side Story." The score is quite intricate and central to the presentation. She was the total orchestral pit, doing the entire score.

Through the years I have come to realize how much my parents defined my life. I was born with my left hand and left foot deformed. It is a fairly common birth defect and nobody knows why it happens. I had three surgeries in Iowa City before I was four years old. However, my parents never coddled me. They always told me that I could do anything I wanted to do. This attitude has set the tone for my life.

I became part of a 20-year study at the University of Iowa. When I was 23, they called me back to the university and the doctors were amazed at all the things I could do. Mother had begun giving me piano lessons before I started to school and they had me play the piano, type, and pick up objects. Of all the people in the study, I had the most dexterity and that is due to how I was raised. In contrast, there was a little girl with the same condition. Her mother designed all her dresses with a pocket, and she was told to keep her hand in her pocket. She was persuaded that she could do nothing, and the result was that her hand and arm were useless. Parental attitude is everything.

When I started high school, Dad told me to take all the hardest classes in order to learn how to work and be prepared for college. I did that, but I still had trouble with memorization and difficult math concepts. However, I have learned since becoming a teacher that not everyone learns in the same way. Forty years ago, teaching was done primarily by text book and lecture. I learn best by doing.

I told my high school guidance counselor that I had always wanted to be a teacher and planned to go to University of Iowa. He said that I wasn't college material based of some of the test results he had received. I know that he was trying to protect me, but I was devastated. Again my parents made a huge difference. They were so supportive and assured me that what I had could not be measured. Neither they nor I let this discouragement deter me.

Actually, the counselor probably did me a favor. The university courses were very difficult. There were times when I became so discouraged that I wanted to quit. But each time I was tempted to throw in the towel, I would remember what the counselor had said, grit my teeth, and continue. I graduated in 1966 and got a job teaching second grade in Mason City. It was then that I met Bub.

After we were married, we lived in a mobile home on his parents' farm. At that time I asked Marlow if he would like to continue his education and he agreed that he would like to do that. He enrolled in the community college at Ellsworth on a business major and made the dean's list even while keeping up his farming responsibilities. We discussed his going for two more years, but he didn’t feel that the time was right. He had quit farming for his parents and we had rented a farm a couple miles from them. It was pretty hard for the family to accept Bub's decision to leave, but it was what he needed to do. He and his older brother had completely different ideas about business and management. Bub needed to be making his own decisions and not be the third man down any longer.

I hadn't planned to teach after we were married but in August the second grade teacher in Alden had a heart attack and the school administrators were absolutely thrilled when I presented myself to them. Those were different times in several respects. For one, there was a change in requirements, and lots of teachers who had two-year degrees had to go back to get additional schooling. For another, there was a shortage of teachers. When I took the job in Mason City, I had offers from other towns. In fact, when I was teaching in Alden, I was called out of the classroom to take a call from the principal at Iowa Falls, who wanted me to come right then to take a position. He offered more money, and the difference in the miles I drove wasn't significant. But I chose to stay in Alden.

In February 1972, Paula was born. I remember the first day I wore maternity clothes to school. A little boy named Joey Akers came up to me and said, "Oh! I know what you've got in there."

Having Paula was so exciting for us. We wanted children and Bub was just plain nutty about her. He is good with kids and always has been. His children are very important to him. I had a wonderful sitter and continued to teach, but Bub did not like it that Paula and I were gone during the day. He suggested that I stay home, and I did for 12 years.

Pam was born in January 1974. We had a harrowing ride to the hospital in Hampton-25 miles on icy roads. My first pain was at 10:30 at night and I knew she was going to be born shortly. I was right. Pam was born six minutes before midnight. There were people who remarked that Bub must have been disappointed to have another girl. Not at all!

The same was true when Peggy was born in December 1977. Once again there was some who expected Bub to be disappointed, which was not the case! He has never expressed disappointment over not having a son. Not once. Peggy was born in Osceola, delivered by Dr. Wilken, who thinks of her as a miracle child. I had lost my amniotic fluid at three months and he didn’t expect me to carry her full term, but I did. For further complication, she was born breech. Many times I have thought that had she been born years ago she probably wouldn’t have made it.

We began looking into the possibility of buying our own land, but we couldn’t afford anything in north central Iowa. Land prices in that area were very high just then, so we began looking in other parts of the state. We came to south central Iowa and were shown a farm. We bought it largely because the house was so inviting, but there were fewer acres than we wanted. We decided to buy it on the faith that Bub could eventually find more acres, which he did. We now farm 280 acres.

We moved to Clarke County in 1976, and immediately found people to be so friendly and helpful. They were always willing to take time out to help us if they knew we had a need. It was a contrast to the northern part of the state. That had become a dog-eat-dog atmosphere in which people worked from morning until midnight. Here we found the area family-friendly, though frustrating. The land washes away in the spring rains and the clay soil bakes under hot summer sun during droughts. There is no way of knowing in planting season what the fields will look like by harvest time. Farming is not as financially rewarding as in north central Iowa, but we have found this to be a wonderful place to raise children.

I have thoroughly enjoyed being able to be home with our girls. Being a teacher and a mother are natural extensions of each other, and we did so many wonderful things together. We went to the library. When I attended Bible study, the girls went with me and there were always children for them to play with. Bub doesn't believe in pre-school. He thinks the parents should be home playing with the children in preference to organized play. I was afraid the girls might be disadvantaged when they started to school, but their teachers all stated that they were at the same level as the rest of the children. I volunteered to be the music teacher at Head Start before Peggy went to school. Peggy went with me, so she always thought she attended Head Start. It
gave her an opportunity to interact with other children.

One of the perks of being self-employed was that Bub could manage his own time, and he never missed any of the girls activities-ever. Both Bub and I enjoyed all the slumber parties and we have had scores of those. The kids often brought friends home to watch movies and to eat. The hard part was when the girls left home and the friends quit coming.

In 1984 I went back to teaching. I taught sixth grade and second grade at Weldon, third grade at East in Osceola, and one year third grade at North. That year Doug Latham said, "We aren't going to let you go back to East." I thought I would miss third grade but this coming year will be my tenth for teaching fourth grade, and it is my favorite. At this age they can do lots for themselves but they still like the teacher and are not afraid to show it. Most of them are still little kids who haven't become too interested in the other gender. They are just more independent than second and third graders.

Linda Abbott and I are regular classroom teachers. About five years ago, Cathy Brause and Gina Sickles asked us if we would be interested in doing "inclusion." In this plan, special ed students are included in the regular classroom curriculum if that environment seems best for all students. Through the years we have tried modifications and different ways of presenting materials. We now teach science and social studies together, with the special ed teachers.

We work from a conviction that all children deserve personal attention to their individual needs, which vary greatly. All children deserve a loving family and safe environment, but cultural changes have not been helpful in that regard. Teaching has changed because the family has changed. Raising children is a fulltime job so when a mother makes a decision to have children and work outside the home it is like taking on two fulltime jobs.

I tend to get carried away when I get on the subject of teaching. I feel so strongly that, at the national level, education has lost sight of child. There is a sense that if they test teachers, they will teach better. Not necessarily. If they test students, they will know more about them. Not necessarily. I am deeply concerned about children and the education system, which has become most concerned with curriculum and assessment, when so much of what we teach children cannot be tested. Somehow curriculum has become of utmost importance and we have lost the child. It is very difficult for teachers always to feel the push to cover curriculum and test, test, test, when before us we see children who are hurting and have need of something beyond
any curriculum. It makes a fine line for us to walk.

Those of us who are in charge of classrooms have to try to maintain a calm environment, a loving, accepting place for children to be. Some children lead such frantic lives. There are many available activities and parents want their children to have every advantage. Some children come from homes where parents have very few parenting skills, so children spend their lives in front of video games, TVs, and computers. They learn values from what they see. Many times it is necessary for the school system to teach what was previously taught in the home. I am referring to values, manners, and everyday kindnesses. Those are things that can't be assessed by any kind of test.

The highlight of our life has been watching our three girls grow up to be loving, intelligent adults. We took many camping vacations to Florida, California, and Washington, D.C. We were even struck by lightning on the way home from Florid. We have taken several camping vacations to Branson, Missouri with the Frank Riley family- four adults and six kids. When our six kids get together they still laugh about their adventures, and. so do Frank, Dianne, Bub, and I.

There have been some low points. One of them was when Pam was a freshman in college and was diagnosed with lupus. It is difficult for us to accept the fact that she will have to contend with this the rest of her life. She tires easily, stress is really difficult, and she cannot be in the sun. But we have been so proud of her. We would have preferred that she come home and rest awhile, but she wouldn’t quit. Even though it has changed her life, she has never used it as an excuse.

Another low point was when Peggy was a college freshman and was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. Once again it was devastating for us. It is very hard to hear your child ask the doctor, "Do I have a future?" His answer was, "Yes." Since then Peggy's philosophy has been, then let’s do what we have to do, whatever that may be. She never complained. Neither she nor Pam ever asked, "Why did this happen to me?"

Peggy, too, kept going. She would not stay home. She returned to college after two surgeries in less than a week, which had a really traumatic effect on her system. She then had radioactive iodine treatment. Peggy will be watched closely for many years to make sure everything continues to be o.k. All three girls have wonderful senses of humor and I think that has helped carry them through the rough times.

Paula graduated from Central College in English education and Pam graduated from Iowa State University in zoology.

Paula married Brian Reece of Osceola in June 1995, and Pam married Chad DeVore, also of Osceola, in July 1995. That was a wild summer. We have two grandchildren. Pam and Chad had Alexa Rae in September 1997; Paula and Brian had Gable Eric born in January 1998. These two grandchildren have so much fun together. It is the highlight of our lives when everyone is home. It is wonderful for us to watch our children nurturing their children. At the time of this writing, in the summer of 2000, Paula is an editor at Perfection Learning. Brian was just hired as high school math teacher and head wrestling coach at Johnston, Iowa; so they will be looking to move from Melcher, Iowa, to Johnston, hopefully before school starts.

Chad and Pam live in Ankeny. He is a civil engineer with Snyder Associates there. Presently Pam is doing day care so she can stay home with Alexa. By profession she was a chemist but it was too stressful to be gone so much of the day and have any quality time with Alexa and Chad.

Peggy will be a senior at Iowa State University majoring in graphic design. She was in a group who was in charge of designing the logo for VEISHEA and she designed the entertainment posters for the occasion this year. Presently she is doing an internship in Des Moines at Cooper Smith and Company Design. Peggy is living at home this summer, which her dad and I love.

All the time the girls were growing up, they were convinced Dad could fix anything and he almost always could. He loves to take old things and make them work again, to make a "silk purse out of sow's ear." He has lots of talent and just recently has discovered his creative side. From iron rods he makes the most wonderful plant holders that stick in the ground. These are his own creations and they are just beautiful! Lately he has become interested in landscaping our yard, collaborating with Peggy’s boyfriend, Ryan Lundquist, who is a landscape architect in training. Our yard now includes a fish pond that holds about 1300 gallons of water with a berm (a huge mound of dirt) behind it. There must be 100 plantings of shrubs, perennials, wild flowers, and a couple of trees.

So our lives continue to be totally fulfilling. If I were to try to sum up all I have experienced, I could only say that I have loved everything I have done. I have had and do have a very happy life. Whatever I am doing at the moment I always enjoy and I have been greatly blessed.